Male or female cat? How to choose
People say males are more affectionate and females more independent, or the exact opposite, depending on who you ask. The truth is that most of the differences between male and female cats are hormonal, and neutering, which Spanish law requires before six months, wipes out almost all of them.
A question with more stereotypes than facts
Everyone has a theory: that females are grumpier, that males are more affectionate, that females are cleaner, that males are rougher. These ideas nearly always come from unneutered cats, whose behaviour is strongly driven by hormones, or from experience with a single cat that gets applied to all of them. There are some real differences, but they are small and vary a lot from one cat to another. What really decides what your cat will be like is its individual character, its genetics and, above all, how it was socialised as a kitten. It is worth being clear about this before ruling out the perfect cat because it is not the sex you expected.
Size: the most objective difference
In almost all cats, the male is somewhat larger and heavier than the female, with a broader head and, in entire males, more pronounced cheeks. In an ordinary domestic cat the difference may be 1 to 1.5 kg (2 to 3 lb); in large breeds such as the Maine Coon or the Norwegian Forest Cat it is greater, and a male can weigh several kilos more than a female. In daily life this matters little: you do not have to hold it on a lead or move it around in the car like a big dog. It only counts for the carrier, the size of the litter tray and the amount of food.
The unneutered male: spraying and escaping
An entire male cat, from six or seven months old, usually marks his territory by spraying urine on vertical surfaces, with a strong smell that is very hard to get rid of, yowls at night, tries to escape to find females in heat and fights with other males, with the risk of wounds, abscesses and FIV passed on through bites. Quite simply, he is very hard to keep in a flat. Neutering reduces or eliminates these behaviours in the vast majority of cases, especially if it is done before the marking habit becomes established. That is why the idea that males are dirty or smelly almost always comes from unneutered males.
The unspayed female: heat
An entire female comes into heat for the first time between four and ten months old, sometimes earlier, and then repeats it very often during the long-daylight season, which in Spain lasts much of the year: every few weeks, until she becomes pregnant. During heat she yowls loudly, especially at night, rolls around, rubs against everything, adopts a characteristic posture and tries to get out. She does not bleed like a female dog, so some people do not recognise it and think she is ill. In addition, an unspayed female has a higher risk of womb infection and of mammary tumours, which in cats are usually malignant. Early spaying greatly reduces that risk.
Neutering: compulsory and decisive
In Spain, Law 7/2023 (the animal welfare law) requires all cats to be neutered before six months, except breeding cats registered in the name of a registered breeder. Beyond the law, it is the decision with the biggest effect on life together: a neutered male and a spayed female are far more alike than two entire cats of different sexes. Castrating a male is a simple, inexpensive procedure, €60 to €120 in Spain; spaying a female is abdominal surgery and costs €120 to €250. Afterwards, both tend to put on weight unless food and play are adjusted, so it is worth switching to a food for neutered cats and keeping an eye on their weight.
Character, once neutered
Here the data are scarce and individual variation is huge. Plenty of experienced people say neutered males tend to be a little more playful and openly affectionate, and females a little more selective about who and when, but there are aloof males and females glued to their person everywhere. What matters far more is early socialisation: a kitten handled kindly between two and seven weeks of age will almost certainly become an adult that is more trusting of people, whether male or female. If you are after a particular character, the way to get it right is to meet the cat, not to choose the sex.
Health: a couple of differences worth knowing
There is one important health difference: males have a narrower, longer urethra, which makes them much more prone to urinary blockage, an emergency in which the cat cannot pee and which can kill it within one or two days. If you have a male, learn the sign: going in and out of the litter tray again and again without peeing, or producing only a few drops, is a reason to go to the vet that same day. In females, early spaying is the best prevention against mammary tumours. Some genetic traits are linked to sex: almost all tortoiseshell and calico cats are female, and a male in those colours is a genetic rarity, usually sterile.
If you already have a cat at home
With two neutered cats, sex matters less than people think. What best predicts whether they will get on is age, energy and character: two young, playful cats hit it off better than a boisterous kitten and an old cat who only wants to sleep. Littermates adopted together usually get on for life. If your resident cat is shy or already old, look for a calm companion rather than one of a particular sex. And whatever the pairing, the introduction has to be gradual: rushing ruins far more households than sex does.
In short
The male is usually somewhat bigger and, if not neutered, sprays, escapes and fights; the unspayed female has frequent, noisy heats and a higher risk of tumours. With both neutered, which is what the law requires and what vets recommend, most of the differences disappear. What remains is one health difference worth remembering, urinary blockage in males, and a variation in character that depends far more on the individual than on sex. Choose the cat that suits you once you have met it, and let sex be, at most, a tie-breaker.
Almost all the differences between male and female cats are hormonal: spraying and escaping in males, heat in females. Neutering before six months, which Spanish law requires, wipes out almost all of them. Choose by character, and if it is a male, learn to recognise a urinary blockage.
Educational content from Michipedia, translated from the Spanish original. It does not replace the advice of a vet or a feline behaviour specialist. Every cat is an individual.