Cats and children: how to make it work
A cat and a child can be great friends, and growing up with a cat teaches things you can't learn anywhere else. But a cat is not a toy, nor is it an animal that puts up with what some dogs will. This is how to get it right.
A cat is not a patient dog
A tolerant dog puts up with hugs, shoves and tugs with enormous patience. A cat, generally, does not: when something bothers it, it gives little warning, and if the warning is ignored it scratches or bites and walks off. Cats also dislike being picked up, chased or held against their will, which is exactly what a small child wants to do. That doesn't mean cats and children don't mix; quite the opposite, many cats adore their children. It means that living together depends on two things: choosing a tolerant cat, and children learning to treat it as an animal that decides when it wants contact.
Which cat to choose
With young children, the safest option is usually an adult cat with a known temperament: calm, sociable and used to being handled. The rescue or foster home can tell you whether it has lived with children and how it reacts. A kitten seems the natural choice, but kittens are fragile, they scratch and bite in play, and a small child can hurt one without meaning to, or frighten it into becoming a fearful adult. Among breeds, the Ragdoll, the Birman, the British Shorthair, the Maine Coon and the Norwegian Forest Cat have a reputation for being tolerant and calm. But again: the individual is what counts. An adult moggy that has already lived with children is the best guarantee there is.
The children's age
With babies and children under three or four, the responsibility lies entirely with the adults: always supervise and never leave them alone with the cat. Between four and seven, children can be taught rules and can help with simple things, such as putting food down or playing with a wand toy. From eight or nine, they can take on small jobs with supervision, such as brushing the cat or checking its water. But no child, at any age, should be the one responsible for the cat: the adults are the ones who make sure it has food, water, a clean litter tray and vet care. Promising that the child will look after it is a recipe for a neglected cat.
The rules to teach
A few clear rules prevent almost every problem. You don't pick the cat up if it doesn't want to be picked up, and if you do, use both hands and support its bottom properly, ideally sitting on the floor rather than standing. You don't chase it or pull it out of its hiding place. When it is sleeping, eating or in the litter tray, you leave it alone. You stroke it gently on the head, cheeks and back, not the tummy, even if it shows it to you. And you play with toys, never with hands or feet, because a cat that learns hands are prey scratches everyone. Children understand these rules very well when you explain why.
Learning to read the cat
The best protection against scratches is for the child to know when the cat wants to be left alone. A tail lashing from side to side, ears turned back or flattened, the skin on the back rippling, very dilated pupils, or a growl or hiss are all signs to stop. On the other hand, a cat that comes over with its tail up, rubs against your legs or purrs calmly is asking for contact. Teach children, too, to let the cat come to them: holding out a still hand and waiting for the cat to sniff it and rub against it usually works better than diving in to stroke it.
The cat needs a refuge
In a home with children, the cat must have places the children can't reach: shelves, a tall cat tree, a room with a cat flap, or a door left ajar with a stopper so only the cat can get through. There it must be able to eat, sleep and rest without anyone bothering it. A cat with somewhere to retreat copes much better with noise and commotion, because it knows it can leave. A cornered cat with no way out is the one that scratches. And put the litter tray somewhere quiet and out of reach of small children, both for hygiene and so the cat doesn't stop using it.
Hygiene without alarm
Living with a healthy cat poses no particular risk to children if a few basic rules are followed. Wash hands after playing with the cat and before eating. Keep the litter tray out of reach of small children, cleaned daily and never by them. Have the cat treated regularly for internal and external parasites, as your vet advises. Wash scratches with soap and water; if one becomes inflamed or painful, or swollen glands appear, see a doctor, because there is an uncommon infection passed on by scratches called cat scratch disease. And if you have a children's sandpit in the garden or on the terrace, cover it when it isn't in use so no cat turns it into a toilet.
Kittens and young children
It is the combination that excites people most and causes the most problems. A kitten of two or three months is fragile: a child who squeezes it, drops it or treads on it by accident can really hurt it. The kitten, in turn, plays with claws and teeth, and a small child doesn't understand that this is play rather than an attack, so gets frightened or reacts roughly, and the kitten learns that hands are prey. If you want a kitten, it is better to wait until the children are old enough to follow rules, and two kittens are better than one, so they wrestle with each other rather than with the children. With very young children, a calm adult cat is almost always safer for everyone.
What a child gains from a cat
Growing up with a cat teaches valuable things: respecting someone else's limits, reading signals without words, being patient, caring for another. A cat that comes to a child because it wants to, not because it is made to, is a lesson in affection that no soft toy can teach. Many cats become the children's companion at bedtime, during homework or while reading. For that to happen, the principle is the same as for everything else: choose the cat well, teach the child well, and have the adults take responsibility for what the child can't yet do.
Choose a tolerant adult cat already tested with children, give it refuges the children can't reach and teach clear rules: no picking it up if it doesn't want to be, no chasing, play with toys and not hands. Its care is always the adults' job.
Educational content from Michipedia, translated from the Spanish original. It does not replace the advice of a vet or a feline behaviour specialist. Every cat is an individual.