Why do cats lick each other? Social grooming explained
Cats groom each other to strengthen their bond and share a group scent, something they only do with cats they trust. Known as social grooming, it focuses mainly on the head and neck, the areas each cat struggles to reach on its own. If your cat licks you, it is treating you as one of its own.
Social grooming
Cats spend a large part of the day licking themselves to keep clean, regulate their temperature and relax. When they do it to another cat, it is called social grooming or allogrooming, and it serves a different purpose: it is about relationships. Only cats that know and accept each other do it, such as littermates, a mother with her kittens, or adult cats that have lived together for a long time and formed a bond. Two cats licking each other’s heads, often while lying together, are a good sign that life in that household is going well.
Why the head and neck
If you watch closely, cats mostly lick each other’s head, face, ears and neck. These are exactly the areas each cat finds hardest to reach with its own tongue, so there is a practical element of helping each other keep clean. But these areas also have scent glands, and by licking and rubbing they mix their scents. In cat colonies, that shared scent works as a sort of group membership card: cats that smell the same recognise each other as members of the same clan. It is similar to what your cat does when it rubs against you, which is also a way of marking you with its scent.
Who grooms whom
Grooming is not always mutual. A classic study by Ruud van den Bos published in 1998 in the Journal of Ethology, carried out on a group of 25 neutered adult cats living in the same space, found that higher-ranking cats tended to groom lower-ranking ones more than the other way round, and that in about a third of the sessions some aggressive gesture appeared, almost always from the cat doing the grooming. The author suggested that grooming might serve, among other things, to channel tension and avoid fights. It is a study of one particular group and broad conclusions should not be drawn from it, but it helps to show that, as well as affection, all that licking also involves an element of social organisation.
When it ends in a bite
It is very common for a grooming session to end abruptly with a bite, a hiss or a brief scuffle. It does not mean they do not get on. Cats have a tolerance threshold for contact, and when one of them gets tired or overexcited, that is how it says so. It may also be that the groomer gets too intense and the other cat cuts it short. As long as the scene is brief, neither cat is left frightened or hiding and they settle down again quickly, it is normal. What is worrying is one cat constantly chasing the other or blocking its way to the litter tray or the food, or the other cat always avoiding the first.
When the mother licks her kittens
The first grooming a cat receives comes from its mother. Right after birth, the queen licks each kitten to clean it, stimulate its breathing and dry its fur. During the first few weeks she also licks their belly and genital area to stimulate them to urinate and defecate, because newborns cannot do it on their own. That is why anyone hand-rearing an orphaned kitten has to rub that area with a damp gauze pad after every feed. This maternal licking creates a bond and becomes associated with safety, which partly explains why adult cats keep using it with those they trust.
Licking itself to calm down
As well as cleaning themselves, cats lick to calm down. It is common to see a cat that, after a fright, a clumsy landing, a spat with another cat or a moment of indecision, sits down and gives its flank or paw a few quick licks. Ethologists call this displacement behaviour: an out-of-context action that helps release tension, rather like us scratching our head in an awkward situation. Grooming releases substances that relax the cat and occupies its mind with something familiar. That is why it is not unusual, during social grooming, for one of the cats to switch suddenly from licking the other to licking itself: it is its way of winding down.
What if my cat licks me?
If your cat licks your hands, face or hair, it is including you in its social circle and treating you as a trusted companion. It often does this when relaxed, along with purring, kneading or head rubbing. Its tongue is covered in tiny backward-facing keratin spines, the filiform papillae, which work like a brush; that is why it feels rough and, if it keeps at the same spot, can become uncomfortable. If you want to stop it, gently move your hand away or redirect its attention with a stroke or a toy, without telling it off. And wash your hands afterwards if you have any cuts, because a cat’s mouth carries bacteria.
When licking is too much
There are situations in which licking stops being normal. A cat that licks another so persistently that it leaves bald patches, or that licks itself until it has bald areas on its belly, legs or flanks, may have a skin problem, such as allergies or fleas, pain in that area or significant stress. The opposite is also a warning sign: a cat that stops grooming itself and has a dirty, matted or greasy coat, especially on its back. This is usually a cat in pain, for example from arthritis, an overweight cat or a sick one. In both cases, a visit to the vet is the first step.
Cats that lick each other are practising social grooming: they strengthen their bond, share a group scent and clean the areas each cannot reach, especially the head and neck. They only do it with cats they trust. A brief bite at the end is normal. If your cat licks you, you are one of its own.
Educational content from Michipedia, translated from the Spanish original. It does not replace the advice of a vet or a feline behaviour specialist. Every cat is an individual.